Time, Money and Sanity Saving Tips for Your Wedding Planning

I just finished reading the always helpful Real Simple Weddings and thought I'd share the tips they had in their 2010 edition. I've injected some of what I've learned so far as well. Hopefully, these will be as helpful to you as they were to me!

Timeline: Meet face-to-face with no more than three vendors in each category. Do your research beforehand by learning general information about the vendors online and through word-of-mouth. That way, the interviews will be about finding your favorites (aka who you gel with the most).

Budget: Shop on eBay for wedding accessories to save money. My side note: Etsy rocks! It'll give you unique ideas and save you money. Also, try checking out the blogs of wedding people- photographers, bakers, planners, etc. You may be able to work out a deal with them that will save you money. You can see their work on the blog and establish a relationship with them. If they can't work within your budget, they'll probably have a good reference for you. OR you can check out local schools for aspiring artists- many students will do the work cheap for you for portfolio additions. You will need to interview them, make sure that they know exactly what you want and sign a contract with all the details worked out and may want to think of having a back-up plan, just in case.

Location: Booking a location 4 to 6 months before your wedding date may prevent you from blowing your whole budget since you have limited time to do everything. If a site isn't booked, the manager will be more likely to work out a deal with you since they'd rather have it booked then, empty.

For destination weddings, book on the last week of the off-season. Weather-wise it's a slight gamble but, it's much cheaper than booking on the first week of the peak season.

Talk to the person who manages the venue and to your photog about using your wedding photos for promotional material. They may offer a discount- or give you more time for photos.

My money saving tip: For your reception venue, if it's not in a package with your ceremony, tell them that you're planning a party. It's amazing how much cheaper the same exact celebration is when you call it a party instead of a wedding reception.

Guests, Attendants, Invites: If your parents are driving you nuts, try to figure out what's driving their involvement- did your Mom have to forego a fancy reception? Did your sis elope? Once you understand where they're coming from, you can get creative and put them in charge of small projects that really fulfill what they want. Maybe they'll let you cut down on if they can throw you a big engagement party or hey we're married party. You can have a small, intimate ceremony with a huge reception..

Attire: Hit the shops with your own "look book" with magazine tear outs, photos of other brides, red carpet dresses, fabric swathes- anything that'll help you communicate exactly what you want to the sales staff. The more details, the better AND be completely candid about your budget. No use trying on that Vera if you're budget's more J.Crew.

My own sanity saving tip: Give your bridesmaids or in my case, Fave Femmes, full control over what they'll wear for the day with your color. Mine is turquoise but, even then I'm flexible- it can be different shades of turquoise. I have 7 Fave Femmes and I have NO CURVES- they do. You know...they actually look like women so I am not going to pretend that I know what looks good on them or would be comfy. I also don't know who can afford what, so I'd rather them feel sexy, comfy and make it affordable to them. AND one less thing to stress about! One more plus- much more visually entertaining then looking at seven of the same dress, in my opinion!

Flowers: Avoid holidays like the plague for far more reasons than just flowers. But, your flowers will jump in price incredibly during holidays. Also, florists are swamped during the holidays, so you won't have their full attention.

My money saving tip: Go to a wholesale flower market. Some cities, LA and SF, both have Flower Districts- which allow you to save some mula by getting your florals wholesale exactly where your florists would get your flowers without the extra cost. Check out your cities to see if you have a flower wholesale market or a district. You may even be able to work out deals with a Farmer's Market dealer as well.

Vows/Ceremony: Ceremony- to save time and for wedded bliss with brevity, head to your City Hall, where a judge or justice of the peace will officiate. It lasts about three minutes (along with wait time, which varies). Contact them about reservations, fees, and number of guests you can bring.

Vows: If you're writing your own, start looking for inspiration a month before the wedding, so you can have a few weeks to practice your finished script. From time-to-time in that month, look in a mirror and recite the vows aloud. Take it slow, this will help your voice resonate and people to hear you well. When you practice, it'll increase your confidence. My tip: If you're going to throw in some personal jokes, that will get a few laughs from at least some of your guests, allow some time for those laughs. Otherwise, they may miss the important part of your vows.

Name Change: Order extra copies of your marriage certificate when you apply for a license. You may have to provide it to some organizations like the DMV.

Photo and Video: Ask a friend who's a whiz with a video camera  to shoot the event and then, get it professionally edited and made into a wedding film (costs vary from $695 to $895). Like I said earlier, go to local schools and check out some up-and-coming talent.You can have one professional for the important shots and have an amateur shoot candids.

Food: Look into your different options online so you know what to expect and if the caterers can work with your budget. Ask for a tasting at that first meeting, the sooner you get a feel for the food, the sooner you can make your decision.

My tip: Sometimes you have to use the venue's catering team, like in my case. Look into the variety of options possible to see which one will save you the most money. I was going to go with a cocktail party but, realized I didn't want to interrupt the flow by sending people away and then, having them come back. But, instead of the full five-course sit down, I chose a plated dinner and am saving some serious money.

If you're having kids at the wedding, see if you can have a kid's section of the reception venue and order a few large pizzas. My venue was going to charge $22 per kid...$22 FOR A CHILD!!!! I don't know about you but, I don't know a single 9 year old and younger that eats $22 worth of food. So, I asked the sales manager if we could just order pizzas and have someone provide activities. Done and done. So, now for $22 I'm feeding all 20 kids.

Also, check to see if there's an extra cost for a split plate. That is when you're allowed to give your guests options on the invites- check here if you want steak, chicken, fish, vegetarian. My venue charges $4 a plate extra, so I opted out of that. Instead, I'm doing a duet (that's when there's two opposing dishes on one plate- i.e. filet mignon and halibut) which saves money and should appease everyone. The veggies? That option is usually provided for free but, be sure to discuss it with the caterer.

Scene: Have toasts and the traditional dances between courses. (I agree with the toasts but, not so much the dances- who wants Aunt Mildred chomping down on a steak while you're having your first dance?) But, Real Simple says this gives plenty of time for both- so that dancers don't have to wait until the meal's over to dance. As a DJ, it's two conflicting energies...but, doable. Maybe best for those long sit-downs with multiple (read: 4+) courses.

Check out all your decorating choices- party supply warehouses, outlets, interior/event design students, etc- to see what kind of deals can be struck. Also, for linen/equipment rental places, use that I'm throwing a party line instead of wedding reception to save some dough.

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